I wish I had someone to call dad?

by admin on Mar.18, 2010, under STAYING YOUNG

My parents had me when they were young. My father was around 15 and my mother was almost 18. After awhile I ended up with my grandmother, as my mother didn't want to deal with me. And my father was on the streets selling drugs and getting locked up, he was too young and immature to be considered anyone's father.

So its been like that, I was raised by my grandma, and I thank her for taking me in but I still wish I had a father, someone I could call dad and would care about me like a father. Recently my mother got back in contact me after 8 years. My dad has always been around, but not close to me in any form. I've seen the type of person that he is and I just have no respect for him at all. He use to give drugs to my cousins, he brags about having sex with women. He got married and beats the living crap out of his Step-Sons and his curses and drinks a lot. He doesn't have a job either. And he stole money from me as well as a Playstation and XBox that I was given for Christmas when I was 12. People tell me I'm wise beyond my age and I guess that comes from having to grow up kind of faster than most kids.

I needed my parents the most when I was in Middle School, I'd get constantly bullied mostly mentally thought and I became severely depressed and attempted suicide several times.

I just wish my parents would have cared, and I wish my father would have grown up and that I could give him a hug. Recently he's settled down and had a son with his wife, maybe he'll be a better example for him than he was for me, I can feel that he still has some more growing up to do but he's beginning to get their. They live in a small apartment because their kind of poor, but its some progress.

In the mean time, what about me? I try to get over it but I end up going in circles. All I keep asking myself is why? I wonder sometimes where was my parents affection when I needed it the most, and why am I here? Why was I born. I can't stay strong any longer. One day very soon I might kill myself.

:8 Years, Affection, Cousins, Crap, Curses, Dad, Drinks, Going In Circles, Grandma, Grandmother, Having Sex, Mean Time, Parents, Playstation, Selling Drugs, Several Times, Sex With Women, Small Apartment, Suicide, Xbox

7 Comments for this entry

taylor lautner
March 18th, 2010 on 11:59 pm
Best Answer – Chosen by Voters .ar u kidding me.so life is not been kind for u so u want to kill yourself?you ar too young to say that. u have a life time to get married, to have kids , to have a good wife and to have a happy life. dont ruin you live. it gives only one chance to live it.so dont think that way anymore ,everything that passed passed .dont look in the past again because u will get more hurt . just think that u will take the love that u deserve from another family that will get u much happy.u will have kids to take care of and u will be a good father so dont think it that anymore
justin bieber
March 18th, 2010 on 11:59 pm
I understand, I feel for you and I care. Hang in there. You may want to also look at fhu.com, where a lot of human problems are discussed.
Vanessa Hudgens
March 18th, 2010 on 11:59 pm
i dont have a dad or mom andlive with my grandma 2(iam 16)still….screw them
taylor lautner
March 18th, 2010 on 11:59 pm
I think you should try talking to someone that you trust, try telling them about what you are feeling and im sure they will find a way of helping you feel better. As for wanting a father, maybe you should try and find a person that you look up and admire. Good luck
taylor lautner
March 18th, 2010 on 11:59 pm
I can relate, in a big way, but I'll try to keep this short. I was the same, I spent years and years circling and hovering around those awful memories. The best thing I did for myself was start completely fresh. Broke all ties to my past and started at a new school, new job, new town, new everything. That way I wasn't reminded daily, at least.I was lucky enough to find myself someone who could love me for who I am, even though I'm broken and probably am never going to be all that normal. He still has trouble with the horrible temper I've developed, but he loves me enough to want to help. And he's helping me move on. I've opened up to him in ways that I've never opened up to anyone.
taylor swift
March 18th, 2010 on 11:59 pm
Been there, done that, came close to killing myself. Not worth it. One life is all we have here on this planet, make the best out of it…or don't. Either way. It's not worth giving up, through time, when it's your time, you'll go back to where you came from. And yeah, I'm there with you. I thought about it everyday…I thought about ending my pain. But I realized how much of an impact it would take on my little brother. So I didn't, I waited in darkness and loneliness and a light came to me. That light was an angel, my current girlfriend. I was so close to giving up, you're almost at the end of the road too, but hold on to what you have, bare through the coldness, and then I promise you thing will brighten up. And for the record, my girlfriend's dad is abusive too, mentally and physically to her and her mom. You're not alone.
selena gomez
March 18th, 2010 on 11:59 pm
Suicide is not the answer man, its a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You have a Father man his name is God and he loves you more than anyone else. accept Jesus as your savior and all the pain just go's away. i recommend going to your nearest Christan church